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The Jester's desire

one bit missing from these pages, a little also missing from other pages, and there is no real reason, nothing particularly pleased kept me away from here, but to be honest, nothing terrible I pushed again here. This is the simple desire to be there in a moment, to exist in the thrill of the moment seems to be the only really important thing. There is no light or darkness in my sky faded, only pale colors. All right, all extraordinarily fluid and smooth, everything as usual, with people who continue to disappoint, and those that continue to amaze with the times, would not want to end up ever, and with those who would like to vanish in a flash. I would say banal, even trivial in my life then there is not much, say, trivial to me, despite me regardless of me.
Get out, see people, have fun, indulge at the time precisely, without thinking about tomorrow, even without think later. Sometimes I want to do it and do it well happy with the results, other times I stay home with my thoughts, my music, my movies. The strange thing is that I can not say which of the two situations are no longer alone. But being alone and feeling lonely are two different things. At how many people really care about me? to be honest, how many really matter to me? Fewer and fewer, more and more you get used to being alone, and the more you see yourself in the future, and more to get ready to do so in the present. I've made many efforts, but each seems to be result of ephemeral duration, meteors across my sky, and then go off elsewhere. Ben are meteors, but not enough. I have no more tears, no more anger, not to life, however, not to mine.
While the eternal search for my angel is increasingly becoming a tangible reality that epic poem, sad clown trapped in a destiny written in half by a wicked and perverse hand, I deny what I most want, and will not let me stop since there is lust.

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Roads & Cabinets



This is one of those places that barely know how to begin, so I guess they figured if the development and conclusion.
I want to do, despite the heat, I have a thousand and one thing and the interesting thing is that something I can do, the truth is that I am in a period that is anything but still, at last something is moving on its own account or on my drive, but it moves, and this is a good thing. It moves but I do not see an end, as if everything becomes agitated incereto, without direction, each path is short and back to the starting point or so away, wandering aimlessly as usual, but beaten up though unknown, instead of opening new solo tracks, but each path is exhausted quickly, leaving many questions open. Perhaps there is only one road to take and follow it even when it seems to have run out, but all the others? seems to be no better than others, and no promises at all. It 's damn hard to explain, even I do not understand it. Maybe Let me explain this:
imagine you have 30 new shirts, half gave them to you, the other half you bought them there because they are cheap. Nothing makes you mad, but all you like, and you know that are better than T 0.
However, it remains a fact, it would be better to have only 2 shirts but beautiful? those required by a lifetime, those which do not drop anything?
not think of that dissatisfaction or utopian living, I am aware that life never gives us what we want (or almost) and you have contentment, but one fact remains: I open the closet and I do not know what to put.

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Only .... what does that mean?
a word, many meanings, but mostly a state of mind more than one condition.
You can reach "only" the tenth in a race, or be in a bar by "only", and you can be in full desert, without being one.
Loneliness has several forms, essences of a similar state of mind more complex than it seems. You can be alone even in a crowd, among friends, on a bus. Why is not how far we have made between ourselves and others, but how much distance separates us from what we seek. If you search for the beauty of a sunset in the mountains, then to be alone at 2000 meters, it really means to be alone, in fact, it feels good, vice versa, sometimes it happens to be surrounded by people, even by friendly faces, and feel alone. No matter how many people there, no matter how easy it is to find things to say, it only matters that he was looking for another, and this has not been found. Sometimes you just want to talk with a friend and between many people, no one seems to be really, even those which are positive you are in doubt, had come, turn out to be far out of your world. Do not you know, you displace, it seems that you know of a few days. Other times, then you're with friends, real ones, but you're just the same, maybe a little less lonely, but still just because you were looking for another, maybe love, and all the friendship of this world can not compensate . So where you are not really alone? perhaps in his deep, we are always in the soul alone, and we are the only ones who can make friends, and it is a fact, condition, state of mind ... but it would be nice to cheat, to share, to be less alone, at least out into the outside world, which can be deceiving, which may be waived, but not without risking losing a lot. Alone in a world that is doing everything to reject, and the only thing you can do is bang in your face presence.