Mountains and past decisions After what seems endless, I get laid, in a symbolic sense, these pages, black ink virtual thoughts as intangible, but both, not to this, the less real.
Time crumbles inexorable as a building too complex in its essence, in order to stay together, yet every piece fell to the ground, here's another form from scratch, change the design, structure, but does not collapse. Yet all seems so precarious and transient.
There is a trigger of my writing this afternoon, only a desire to return to my thoughts to flow, that too hard trying to get out while I try to ignore them, aware of how vain.
subtle, as I said a few lines above, many things change, nothing stays the same and this is the basis of life itself, but is there a way to change and a way of being, here now, which I think should be different. Let me explain. I do not intend to deny or oppose the mutability of the people and events, things that are accepted and often rely on, no, the point is another, and on the change so slowly as to be unsettling. You can not establish a fixed point as after one very short period of time that point has already moved, and if it did, is all the rest have moved to. Sometimes the ebb and flow of these movements seems to create events spiral, returning periodically, but different situations seem so similar to each other by the result of writers out of ideas.
About the changes you want to add is that some are not only well taken, but even sought, created (or at least the conditions so that they may be), but not always the effort is rewarded, because we control the events is different from situation to situation, and often amounts to little more than a hope. In doing so there arises a host of questions about what is right, wrong or acceptable, balancing the possible benefits and losses agonists, and sometimes, the collateral damage. It sounds like a plan Guarro but in reality is what starts up every time we make a decision. But this is not enough, even if there is a mathematically precise formula for doing the best choices to achieve what we have designated as our goal, we always collide with the choices made by others and not be underestimated, the chaos of fate, and whether you feel it truly random, or feel that pre-established, there remains an element important because it still unknown.
It seems that the mere ravings of a madman is in fact an accurate description of what we live every day, driven by a force, and a conviction, even more entrenched, however, that the building is the greater evil, so I I make decisions and move it constantly, even when I would not, and widen the focus point for studying other human people and see what they do to try to precede them, or avoid them in time, so my path is not interrupted and I lead to the goal. All this effort is then "rewarded" by events that I can not control and people who can not (or have not been able to) handle.
Lately a lot of photos, music, memories and echoes from the past haunt my life, with bittersweet melancholy remember what it was, what I was, and I compare myself. The person that I could be better, so I made a mistake, and now I know that I am better, in my discretion, I am. But they probably are also due to those errors, so I can not condemn them too much. There are also things that were better, and that are no longer so, such as friendship.
is no longer what it once was, and is not an assessment of the company, I speak only of my reality, now I know a number of people at least ten times higher then, but how many of these may be included in the category "Friends"? oh, I assure you very few, perhaps the fingers of one hand sufficient. Ten years ago, but I had at least twice as many people as I could define these, and I knew one-tenth ... if the math is not an opinion the comparison is done in a hurry. What happened then? someone is still there, someone else did not, but I did not speak to people, that as such they are fallible, but the simple concept of how to experience the same friendship as such. Not so the longer I who live, or even them, maybe it's just a fact master, but before they were a sort of "family" alternative, the joys, sorrows, consolations and quarrels. I look back with nostalgia to those days, partly because it did not matter what you did, it was important to stay together and was happy for the successes of others and sad failures. All those emotions are now buried under a heavy layer of defense, then went out without restraint and made it more colorful, joy more real, more vivid and the pain, no half measures. Now all that is mitigated by the shield of necessity I had to put up to avoid being torn to pieces by myself, and so the colors are faded, the joy is just a nice variant of normality and the pain is just a nuisance. I have my balance, I'm proud, but deep down, just wait to hear hot cross that river yet my limbs, my heart beat wildly, not a challenge, but a dream finally realized
